Fatally yours

Well HELLO!!

God, been ages again hasn't it! So what have you been up to? Where have you been? Good music?

Just had THE best weekend EVAH - went to a charity gig in CitynearwhereIlive on Saturday. It was a proper Glam metal night, with fabulous disco playing such select choons as Poison, Tigertailz, Motley Crue, you name it. Had an absolutely CRACKING time with Miss HCH and DJD who we met for a drink beforehand. There was (I'm told) a raffle but I didn't (to my knowledge) win any prizes. There were also more hot metal blokes than I have seen in one place since about 1990. I'm serious. Cowboy hats, bandanas, guyliner, scarves, jewellery, big hair - Ding DONG! I was in my element. I haven't had such a fab night out in ages, and ALL the nights out I have are generally amazing, so you can imagine. Spoke to a few people I haven't seen since about 1993 (who'd all aged worse than I have. Ha!).

(I think) I snogged a bloke who I fully believe to be the hottest man (and he was a man, not a boy) I have ever laid lip on. Looked kinda like Nikki Sixx (now). Of course, he turned out to be idiot player, 38 with 3 kids and a wife (he says) he's divorcing, oh and possibly a girlfriend, oh and of course he looks camp as HELL on the photos and of course he looked ropey as the next day when we met up for drinks with him and his mates briefly. But hey - this is what rock is all about my lovelies!!

Managed to get some rather horriffic photos taken (all on facebook if you know me, some of them thankfully not tagged), tried on a hat and some rather nice shades, all of which I was forced to give back. Did acquire a rather nice star necklace, so thank you for that Mr Sixx.

This has convinced me though that I am still able to pull an utter hottie, so big ol' confidence boost for me and no intention of settling for anything less in the near future.

OH! Also, Friday night I thought I'd check out the bands playing at this gig. Looked 'em up on Myspace and thought the bassist of one of them looked rather familiar.... yup, bloke I brought home last year when we won the rugby who was way out of my league (except clearly he's not!). Band were pretty good, and he was V hot, so snaps for me on that one too!

Couple of weeks ago went to see Guitar Boy's band play at a biker club in CityNotFarFromWhereILive. Had a most excellent time, despite a bit of a conniption on my part trying to find out if the girl he's 'knocking off' was going to be there. (The pretext on that one being if she was, I wasn't - I might not be the most sensible girl in the world, but I'm good at looking after my emotional self). She wasnt. So went along, a great time was had by all, got chatted up by THE biggest biker I've ever seen and drank lots and lots of cider at £2 a can! As all the Welsh people were leaving, I went out to wave 'em off and Guitar Boy ran off the bus and gave me a rather lovely hug and a kissonthecheek. Lots of lovely workplace flirting, glancing and pretendy romancin going on at the moment too, so thats cool with me!

This coming weekend is Easter. Had no plans at around 12:00 today, and by 12:30, had a weekend full of 'em. So lets keep our feet on the ground and our horns in the air and hope it rocks like a motherf*cker!!!

Love ya tons like currant buns!
Axx

Helloo my lovelies,

Before I start let me apologise for the utter lack of response to the lovely lovelies who commented on the sheer idiocy of Abdul in my last post. Thank you guys SO much for your comments because they really did help. And yet...

So a couple of weeks after that, went back to rock night at fab club and who should be there - him. Soon as we went in. I'm not gonna rehash this right now (despite Rehasher being an amezin band - go look 'em up!!) because I am OVER it but Abdul the Crazy acted like an utter moron all night, ignoring me, standing in my line of vision, then calling me til 4am with tales of woe about his imminent demise from some kind of heart failure which blatantly doesnt stop a man going out on the lash... blah blah blah. Long story short, he then apologised, still isnt over ex blah blah blah and then DEFRIENDED ME on facebook. Arsehole. What an utter loon though...

Couple of weeks after that went to CityNearWhereILive to see my lovely friends there. For Wrestler Night. Where we all dressed up as wrestlers for no reason other than it's Saturday. I was Jeff Hardy. Even got recognised by a couple of kids in the beer garden. I had a GREAT drawn on beard too - LOVED it. Fabulous night out, ended up with many bruises and tons of amazing photos of the night too. Can't wait til Wrestler Night 2 - Summer Slam!

Met a cute guy too (while dressed like Jeff Hardy... should have realised!), lets call him Cute Ian because that is his name. Not the 'Cute' part. I added that. But Ian. Anyway, lots of photos of Cute Ian looking well into me, all kinds of enthusiastic etc etc. Came back to my mates for drinks, was perfect gentleman, even helped me get my beard off with a Boots Facewipe. Gave him a lift home the next morning. Was all about coming and taking me out on a date and stuff and then NOTHING. Now, problem here is, I was very drunk at Wrestler Night. Seem to remember giving him A number, just not sure if it was my number, or even the correct MY number... or maybe he took it down wrong. Or maybe hes just not that into me. Ho hum. So if any of you lovely people knows Cute Ian, please have him washed and brought to my tent immediately, because he's lovely!

Apart from that life has been all about studying (2 HR courses for work, plus my OU course is kind of eating my life), working hard (trade show in London a couple of weeks ago was tres uneventful and super hard work) and generally not sleeping enough. I've got my own nice office at work now. I get to see a lot of Guitar Boy so that's absolutely fabulous. To be fair though, I'm getting a bit bored of crushing on him now - he's 19, nothings going to happen there and he's been the object of my affection since last summer. I need a new crush!

Met a cute 23 year old a couple of weeks back. FD we'll call him. He's cute, kisses nicely, can spell and is intelligent. He came to the cinema with HCH and me (I invited him when I was drunk) and laughed extremely loudly and inappropriately ALL the way through Watchmen - which is a LONG film anyway - whipped my armrest away and insisted on holding my hand and generally led me to believe him to be a bit radio rental. And guess what - into me. Texting, asking me out, you name it. SO cute. And so utterly, utterly insane. C'est typique.

Anyway kids, I hope you're all doing absolutely fabulously and I promise not to leave it so long til next time.

Loves ya.
Axxxx

So, what kind of year has it been (so far?)....

In my last post I was talking about going to a rock night with Miss HCH. I did, and we had a fabulous time too!! Rocked out big time all night, got our photos taken and horriffically posted on Facebook, drank WAY too much and I met a boy...

The next morning, I remembered MEETING a boy, just nothing else. Miss HCH told me she believed him to be called Abdul. I was pretty sure this wasnt true, but was slightly trepidatious none the less.... He text me later that day, and he's SO not called Abdul. Begins with an 'A' but there the similarity ends.

So, Abdul asked me on a date, I went and had a mucho fab and wonderful time - we chatted for ages, went to the cinema, he threw popcorn over me through the entire film - I laughed my backside off like I havent with a boy pretty much ever.

Then he asked me out again - I went to his house, we played on the Wii, he whooped my arse, we laughed, I played guitar hero SOBER (and you all KNOW how I hate the joining in) he took the piss out of me, called me names, wasnt afraid of me at ALL and we had some very nice snogging, thank you.

Then he asked me out AGAIN - by this point, he's texting me every day, calling me every night and is generally showing signs of being 'into me'. I want to point out that I am playing by The Rules at this point too. Went to his house,watched a film, laughed my arse off (I feel the need to point out that he's laughing too) and had lots of fab snogging. He asked if I wanted to 'take it up a notch' and I said no, not right now as I have to go home, and we agreed to wait.

I was meant to be seeing him last night for a 'sleepover' date... but more about that in a bit. Friday night I went to PlaceByTheSea to stay with my friend Josephine, whom I havent seen in ten years. She found me on Facebook before Christmas and asked me to stay. It was fabulous! We had a super fun night out and it feels like I never DIDNT see her - it was like I saw her yesterday. If you look up 'Yummy Mummy' in the dictionary, there's a picture of Josephine.. She's just as stunningly gorgeous, as shiningly genuine, open, has the most infectious, beautiful smile ever and 100% fabulous top top person as I remember and now she has a fantabbatastic hubby (who I now feel I've known forever too) and a gorgeous little boy whom I heard her tucking into bed and I swear to god my non-maternal heart broke. Such a great night out and now I cant wait to see her again for more catching up!

Then last night I was meant to be seeing Adbul... Ok lets call him DB(New) cos thats what Miss HCH called him. Id popped in to see another mate of mine en route from Jospehine's to his, and he text me saying 'can we have a chat'. Straight away I thought it was a bad sign. So I called him up and (long story short, I have a problem with my phone where it goes dead, you're chatting away but I cant hear you for about 30 seconds at a time and you cant hear me going 'phone's gone dead, hang on, hang on, f(&(*&&)*&)(*NG THING)... basically, he wants to take things slowly because he's not over his last Long Term Relationship (which he says ended right before Christmas, I have a feeling it was around October) and isnt over his ex. But he loves spending time with me and he loves my company, he just isnt ready for a relationship.

We've been on THREE dates. THREE. No one had mentioned relationships.. specially not me. It wasnt me doing the nightly calling, the daytime texting and the facebook wall comments by the way... again with The Rules...And then he asked me if I still wanted to go round that night. Uhhh, no. No. I believe I have more self-esteem than to date someone on the offchance that they will end up liking me more / wont go back to their ex. He apologised a lot and I said dont - its how he feels, and I really do appreciate the fact that he was honest, because that must have taken balls, and its his feelings, you shouldnt have to apologise for your feelings, right?

But I said no, I cant see him anymore. I'm no-ones 'make do' person. I deserve someone who wants ME, who is into ME and isnt constantly thinking 'well shes ok but she's not as good as....'.

So ever since then, I've been on a hideous downer. Its like my 'Happy' I was so pleased about last time has gone and serve me right for banging on about it. Now I feel flatter than I did before Christmas. And I feel stupid. Stupid for feeling this bad about some guy I went on 3 dates with, stupid for feeling so good about him in the first place, stupid for believing someone could like me and it could go right, stupid for letting someone in. I dont know. I just feel stupid. Thankfully I have amazing friends and family who have made sure I'm ok and not wallowing despite being overly-emotional and prone to drama on a regular basis, but I'm gutted. My friends have variously said that he's stupid for missing out on me for the sake of an ex (and if she's that awesome, how come they broke up?), that she's found out he's seeing someone and is meddling (from my Psychic friend) and the general opinion is that he's an idiot and this would all have been information that was useful 3 weeks ago...

And truth be told, I'm wallowing. I cant stop crying which makes me feel even MORE stupid.. My feelings are hurt and I really LIKED this guy - what is wrong with me that I'm not good enough? I know that's not it either - this all says more about him than it does about me but god that's how it feels right now. 3 dates can f**k me up so badly? God help me.

Sorry this is such a downer entry, but I need to get it off my chest and somewhere else out of my system for a little while. Rant over...

Jelly tots!
Axx

Hello my lovelies,

Happy new year to everyone – I hope you all got through Christmas and other seasonal festivities utterly unscathed? I am more or less in one piece but have had a period of utter toxicity and have been detoxing furiously all week…

Back to work was on Monday and my god I could have cried. Just the utter culture shock of having to get UP, and not wear my jimjams all day. The office was freezing cold all day and by lunchtime I thought my head was going to drop off. My neck and back were in agony, clearly from spending the last fortnight lying down most of the time and thus causing the muscles that hold my head up to waste away… the week got slowly better though, and the weirdest thing is I’ve been HAPPY all week. Actually HAPPY – not fair to middling, not ok, not ah I’ve been worse, actually factually HAPPY. Its very odd indeed but I have to say its fan-tabby-tastic! Now I’m just worried that at some point I’ll crash back to being slightly morose me, and then it’ll seem all the worse for having had the massive high beforehand. But while it lasts, I am LOVING being the happiest girl there ever was.

There is no actual reason for this random happiness either – no illicit snogs, no marvellous goes at The Sex, nothing. Just happy. How odd.

I’m also very pleased to say that there is utterly no weirdness between Guitar Boy and I at work. And thank god, because that could SO easily have gone the other way, causing weirdness in the workplace, hideous feelings and awkwardness all round. But no. None of that – normal service has been resumed, so we’re back to chatting, laughing, flirting and general tossing of insults and vile hand gestures. Hooray for sensible boys you can be friends with. I still think he’s really hot and totally out of my league, but he’s waaay too young for me and has a girlfriend, not to mention being slightly happy about himself but then that’s 19 year olds for you isn’t it?

In other news I have returned to fat class. My gargantuan mass could remain unfettered no longer… I was beginning to exert my own gravitational pull and things were starting to orbit me, and a lot of my clothes had mysteriously shrunk. So now I am ‘eating sensibly’ in the hope of losing about 2 stone by this evening…..

This evening Miss HCH and myself are off to a rock night in The City. I am very excited about this because I never get the opportunity to go to clubs playing the sort of music I like around here. And there maybe boys there – Boys I Don’t Know. Woo hoo!! Longhairs too! How exciting!!

So watch this space - its gonna be a fun fab month, which if its an indication of the year ahead, means 2009 is going to rock my socks!!!

Love ya!
Axx

Well hello,

Hope you're all ready for Christmas my lovelies. I am but I can't say I'm feeling all that Christmas spirit yet.. hope it kicks in soon although I can't see it to be honest.

So Friday was our work Christmas do at Posh Hotel and Golf place.. I organised it and despite much whining, moaning and general bitching everyone had a fabulous time and scrubbed up rather nicely! Got absolutely plastered, and only spent £9.. not entirely sure how that happened though. Even had a bit (a lot) of a dance. When I say dance I actually mean leaping up and down in a ska type fashion but hey, I gave it a try.

Guitar Boy looked absolutely dazzling. Dazzling doesn't cover it at ALL, not even remotely, but its the only word I can find. At some point(s?) he was dancing with me, not touching at ALL, not one bit but his face was so close and his nose was touching my cheek, and his mouth was so near to mine he could have kissed me, I could feel the heat coming off his body and feel his breath on my face. His grin lights up a room and he is seriously, seriously out of my league... and then we were outside and he kissed me. I can't remember the kiss really, but he kissed me. And I kissed him back. And it was everything I had hoped it would be.

And now I kind of wish I hadn't. All those months of flirting, sexual tension, smiling and laughing and generally mucking about, and now its gone. Like when you spend 5 months looking forward to a festival, have a severely amazing time and then have to go back to real life.

We all piled back to a party afterwards and nothing else occurred, and there was definitely no post-snog weirdness the next morning but now I'm worried there's weirdness somehow. I know I don't have any but I sincerely hope he doesn't. And I seriously hope that we are still mates you know? Don't want to lose a good mate over a nice yet pointless snog. Hopefully he is proper boy and doesn't give a monkeys / doesn't do weirdness - its not like we slept together or anything is it.

Oh, couple of other things, also licked THE ABS in FULL view of everyone although luckily this was before the snogging but after some boozing so hopefully hardly anyone saw. I can testify that The Tattoo On THE ABS tastes of cherries... and then got talking to Guitar Boy's mother. She works with us and is only 5 years older than I am. Oops. She informed me that her son isn't actually 20.. and I believe I told her I loved him. Ooops. But thank god she approved wholeheartedly and declared me to be lovely, well brought up girl who shouldn't be still single. Anyway...

So now am desperately looking forward to many nights out over Christmas in which I can attempt to drink him off my mind. Don't want to be tragic Cougar type woman who only gets off with inappropriately young men...

Went to see Twilight in the cinema on Saturday - AMAZING!!! Came out, and went straight back in to watch it again. Going again on Wednesday also. Only criticism is very little Jacob in it, but roll on New Moon for the Jacob Fest next October!

Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and a fabulous New Year!!

xxxx

Well hello,

Hope you're all gearing up nicely for the festive season. I'm pretty much in denial about the whole thing, but thats how I like it.

Dear god, a wonderful wonderful thing happened today. Got in to work only to find that Bossman had eaten the banana I'd been keeping for my breakfast and SOMEONE had opened day 8 on my slightly shite free advent calendar (thank you Recruitment Agencies). Harumphed for most of the morning, accused various Warehouse Monkeys of having robbed me of my one iota of Monday morning joy.. and then about mid-morning it occurred to me that there was a vague possibility of my having got my days mixed up last week and eating one too many..

So I duly apologised to Warehouse Monkeys, at which point Guitar Boy affixed me with his heowge puppy dog eyes and made me feel even more guilty. Pointed this out to his mate, who enquired as to whether I had asked him to roll over so I could tickle his tummy (long running joke involving Guitar Boy being cute as a puppy and just as easily entertained). I explained that no, I hadn't, would be rude to ask, and as a potential future member of the Senior Management Team in my possible capacity as Queen of HR, that would be sexual harassment and besides I was rather hoping he'd volunteer.

About half an hour later, Guitar Boy marches into my office, up to my desk, with THE ABS out. OUT! Bare! In my office! And demanded, really and truly DEMANDED that I stroke them. THE ABS! (Can't remember exact wording - all a bit of a shock). Rude not to and all that, so I did. Good GOD. These truly are THE ABS that the Lord has made, we should rejoice and be glad of them. You know like that footballer and his hand of god? These are THE ABS of God. Really. SO hot and SO firm and SO smooth, and a lovely tattoo on there that probably tastes like something yummy if you lick it. I ACTUALLY broke into a sweat. I kid you not. It was all I could do to not vault my desk and lick him.. except WomanIShareAnOfficeWith was sitting at the other end of the room BESIDE herself, jaw on the floor, jealous (true I swear) aghast at this wanton display of showing off, sexual tension, lust, leering, petting, sexual tension, craving, whimpering, and did I mention sexual tension?

Seriously - SO warm though. I swear to god he must keep a pair of shorts strapped to his ankle. (Target reference - Team Jacob, please go and read all the Twilight books immediately).

That was it, I couldn't hold a sensible thought in my head for the rest of the day. Could seriously have done with a proper lie down in a dark room and / or a cold shower. (Lie down in a dark cold shower maybe?).

I've done other stuff.... wait.. I know I have. Oh yes - Slipknot. Went to see them on Friday night, absolutely amezin. Fabulous gig, followed by super fun after party in which I snogged two gorgeous young men (not simultaneously I hasten to add), one of whom I snogged for a teenagedly long time.. you remember - just snogging and snogging and snogging and not really coming up for air at all? Fabulous!! So much fun! Both of them were MUCH younger than Drummer Boy (a little younger than myself also) and at least twice as hot (as Drummer Boy). Ding bloody dong. And I'm back on the long haired ones!!

No word from Drummer Boy, so have de-friended him on Facebook, removed him from my phone and condemned him to the place where dumpees go.. the dumpee dumpster. Good enough for him I say. The next guy I go out with (and I feel like this list of my requirements is getting out of control a smidge) will in addition to all of my previously stated necessary qualities: come and pick me up at my home occasionally, not have a dog, actually like going OUT places not just staying in and getting wrecked every time, WILL be taller than I am in heels, will have GOOD tattoo's (maximum one SMALL slightly dodgy one), great taste in music (not just ok taste in music that he thinks is amezin and amounts to 2 bands), will drink (not excessively but enough to be normal) and will NOT be in a DODGY covers band.. I KNOW playing covers is where the money is, but CHRIST have some integrity, and if you HAVE to play covers, for F**KS sake play good ones.

Think thats it for now!!
Hot boys and long hair and abs - OH MY!!!

Axxx

Well hello! How the devil are we?

Sorry it's been SOOOOO long, but as you'll see presently, its been a busy time kids, so get the kettle on, make a cuppa, grab a hobnob and your cosy socks and we'll catch up is it??

Well, last time I was just about to go and see my favourite band for the umpteenth time. Saw them twice that week and they were amezzin. Got to chat to their singer both nights, and he was a lovely, funny, charming man. Shorter than I thought, but then isn't everyone? Plus I'm fairly tall so it shouldn't really be that much of a surprise to me anymore.. first time I was blotto and couldnt remember what I said to him, so the second time I apologised and said I hoped it wasn't anything saucy.. he said he'd rather hoped it was. What a smoothie!! The gigs were also FULL of boys in hats.. and as anyone who knows me knows, I LOVE a random hat. Thusly HCH has about 40 photos of me in various different hats, posing madly.

Went to see Flashdance a couple of weeks ago too, now I'm not a huge fan of the theatre because I can't suspend my disbelief enough. We know they're pretending, they know they're pretending and we're all just supposed to deal with that. I cant. It makes me embarrassed.. But this was a musical so that's ok. Somehow we ended up on a bus trip full of very 'chapel' middle aged ladies, who all had that funny 'short in the back, permed on the top' hairdo that middle aged ladies have (as HCH put it, how do you even ASK for that?). We typically ended up getting blotto, I cut my arm, we saw John Barrowman who is THE handsomest man I have EVER seen and could barely look directly at him, despite him being some distance away... had an incident with my phone that involved me having to gaffer tape my battery on for 4 days, and had a bloody fabulous time. Noel from Hearsay was in it, and HCH is convinced he was giving her the eye.. despite us being sat in the gods, about as far from the stage as you could get. But he totally was I swear it!!

As someone kindly pointed out to me a few days later, I am the only person they know who can go to the theatre with a bus full of Chapel ladies,get plastered and cut myself... and yes, I really WILL go to anything.

Went to the ice hockey a couple of days later, and god I'd forgotten how much I loved it! Am getting my skates sharpened next weekend so I might get back on the ice yet. And give me 5 minutes in the 'conflict resolution' box with number 16 ANY day of the week!

In between all of this, there has been the usual level of random FOOGO, hangovers, bits of college work (just submitted my second assignment so wish me luck on that one!) and work work work. No random snoggage though. How boring.

And then we come on to the subject of Drummer Boy. I'm still seeing him, but getting slightly disturbed at certain things. Firstly, now he's 'got' me, he has cut RIGHT back on the effort making... Secondly he smokes a LOT of pot. Now normally I would never date an utter stoner, but he's very functional, and that's worrying in itself. Normally stoners can't be arsed with The Sex.. he can. He never wants to do anything though, always have to go to his, watch a dvd, bottle of wine etc.. And then I was dipping into the old faithful 'He's Just Not That Into You'. Seriously a fabulous, amazing book. Its an oracle. I'd recommend it to any of you ladies because it's SO spot on... anyway, in the book there's a chapter which says, if he only wants to see you when he's drunk, he's just not that into you. It goes on to state that if your date is always stoned, its basically saying that he can't handle you at full volume - tantamount to him liking you more when you're in the other room.

Now I know I'm a bit MUCH for some people, but surely this guy has chosen to date me, you think he'd want the FULL experience you know? Rather than sitting there with his life on mute. Because I live my life at utter full volume, all the time and thats how I like it! Humph.

Oh and he's also got the hump with me about something... he text me last night and said 'are you still awake?' which he often does after a gig. Well it was 11:45pm on Saturday night, so yes I was. Replied and said I was still at the pub (had been on an all-dayer to watch the rugby, we won! I love Ryan Jones - gorgeous big scruffy lump of a man!! Ding dong!) but I'd give him a call on my way home. He replied and said if he was up, he'd answer. Oh right. Fine then! So I said well I'm sure he would be as everytime I stay at his, he never goes to sleep before 3. He replied something arsy along the lines of 'well Ive been playing for 3 hours' blah blah blah. So I 'whatevered' him. Now I'm aware that wasnt a particularly mature response, but I was drunk and I can't be doing with mantrums. No sir. Bought that tshirt years ago and burnt it. Havent heard from him today, so I deduce he has his arse in his hands and is being mardy. Why do I even CARE?

In other news, Guitar Boy from work has got back together with his gf. Asked another guy at work what she looked like, he said he's been drunk every time he met her so he cant remember.... If she was Angelina Jolie, he'd REMEMBER right? Went on to say she's got dark hair and is 'sweet'. Pffft.

Gah, Just had text from DB, very self-righteous and arsy with lots of 'frowny' faces. I HATE those bloody faces, and he uses about 40 of them in EVERY text message. God almighty. Toys out of pram big time. Not replying - clearly has no sense of humour! Let 'im stew for a bit I reckon!

Hmmmm, what else is new.... oh, at work they've asked me to be the HR manager. I have NO HR training, so pointed out that I shall be needing some. Bossman seems to think its like flower arranging and I can just throw myself on the first tinpot course that comes along and be good to go in 6 weeks.. with no extra cash or anything because clearly am going to do it out of the goodness of my weasly black heart. Ahem.

Think that's about it - shall let you know if I think of anything else.

Have fun kids - stay warm!!

Axxx

Eeeeeeeeeeeeee I am super excited kids! Going to see My Fave Band tomorrow night and I am bouncing with excitement. I might even be sick. I kid you not.

Had a bit of a weird day - many flashbacks to drunken phone calls to and from Boys From Work Saturday night, luckily they were as hammered as we were so no one can remember anything anyone said. Probably couldn't understand it at the time either but the only thing anyone remembers was someone banging on about cups of tea.... Fortunately we seem to have a lot less bruises than they do. Why is it that boys get wasted and then start play fighting each other? Girls don't do that...

Drummer Boy didnt text me ALL day - to begin with I was most indifferent to this, by clocking off time I was horrendously indignant and by 5:30pm I gave in and text him. Playing hard to get clearly has an effect on my shallow mind. I DEMAND that you want me even though I'm not sure if I want you back quite so much... except now, cos of the 'playing hard to get' I want him like a mad thing. So we're going to some fireworks Wednesday. Hopefully it'll be frosty cold so he can warm me up again when we get back. Ding dong! And its an excuse to wear mittens!! And have sparklers! And possibly hot soup in a mug!! And probably cider.

Just had a bit of a scare from HCH - she kind of hooked up with this guy we know on Saturday night, and he's not British. So there is sometimes a bit of a 'lost in translation' issue about things, and somehow she's managed to make him believe that she and I are having a 'special' relationship. It could be a lot worse, except now he's sent me a message asking if I could answer a little question for him... thanks HC, you dig the holes, I'll fill 'em in.

Happy, chilly, firework filled, ska-band, bounce til you're happy then bounce a bit more days to you all

Love you lots like jelly tots!
Axxx

Heyyyy,

So its been busy eh? November is going to be HECTIC so I'm having a night in to take it easy and try and recharge some batteries..

Day-date didn't happen last Saturday - utter communication failure so I sulked half the day. Dyed my hair with a dye I shouldn't have been allergic to. It didn't take and it made me itch. Amezzin. Went to the cinema in the night and accidentally went FOOGO afterwards...

Tuesday I went out with Drummer Boy and stayed over. In the morning I was trying to sneak out without the neighbours seeing me, as they'd already interrogated him about whose car had been parked outside last Sunday. Got outside - car was frozen over so had to go back in for water to tip on it. Then whilst fecking about trying to get my satnav going, I leant on the horn. Smooth.

Friday this week went to see Saw V and ended up sitting behind a row of noisy chavs, then last night went over to Bristol with HCH and the Bristolians for intentional FOOGO and was introduced to Jagerbombs. Only had 2 (and a load of cider of course) but my god I've suffered a bit today. Thank GOD we didn't act on the conversation which went 'Wonder how many of these we could drink before we fell down'.

Was meant to be seeing Drummer Boy tonight but I need a night in my own bed and can't see me being conscious much past 10 so I blew him out and have rearranged for Wednesday. I'm still not 100% about it all - he's just so KEEN - he text me about 4 times this morning going on about how he hasn't stopped smiling since he met me. This is NOT a reaction I generally instil in people... not much of a jester and all that.

Also on the phone the other night he started to say something and stopped, saying that 'its too big for the phone, I'll tell you when I see you'. So now I am UTTERLY terrified that he's going to try and have A Chat about Where This Is Going. I am SO not up for that at the moment... he's great and all, but I'm not ready to give up Kissing Boys. Worrying times kids.

On the subject of Boys I'd Like To Kiss, Guitar Boy at work sent me a couple of tres flirty texts this week - long story but a bit of banter about him wanting a cup of tea in the morning and all that.. got a smiley face and a kiss on one of 'em and weirdly I was more excited about that than any text Drummer Boy has sent me. Damn he's hot *sigh* Meh. Its so HARD isn't it?

Super busy weeks ahead - got two gigs this week, my favourite band in 2 different places, so I am super super excited about that! AND 2 days off work to boot. Fabulous!

Have fun and stay outta trouble!
Loves ya
Axx

Well, last Friday I had a somewhat emotional reunion with a very old love. Jack Daniels. I have sworn off the Jack because it magnifies my maniac tendencies and quite apart from intensifying the lunatic behaviour I am prone to whilst drunk, it gives me blackouts, possibly to protect my sanity, and a raging case of The Fear every time. At least he's consistent.

So I went to my local with BB and HCH for that lethal favourite 'a couple of drinks'. Started nicely on the mad apple but everyone switched to shorts, so I decided to have a JD and coke. Double. I'm starting to think Jack and the mad apple are in league with one another. Anyway, at some point I had a few 'in between' drinks because the other two were drinking too slowly.

There was a band in the pub, who were ok in all honesty, and I had noticed that their drummer was quite fit. So by midnight, I was feeling well foxy which should have meant it was time to go home, but instead I sent HCH to enquire whether said gentleman was single and if so could I have his number. Clearly she was blotto also because she did so quite merrily.

It all gets a bit blurry after that, but I ended up taking Drummer Boy home with me. He was utterly sober. I have NO clue what I was saying to him, but knowing my previous joint-ventures with JD, it was either pointless, incoherent, smutty as hell or incredibly boring. He stayed over, penetration did not occur and he left for work around 8am Saturday and within minutes was texting me about what a great time he had.

Long story short, went out on a date with him on the Sunday. He kept attempting to reference things I had said the night before, but after I'd begged him to stop for the 45th time I think he gave up. God how mortifying - I kiss my mother with this mouth?! I actually like him. He's a little older than the guys I normally go for (35) but this can't be a bad thing, he's intelligent, has a proper job, nice house, no kids, never been married (I think), good taste in music, great rack, tattoos etc etc etc. What's freaking me out is that he seems to think I'm great.

I'm not BAD, don't get me wrong, slightly above fair-to-middling I'd say, but I am in no way all that. So now I'm thinking that there has to be something wrong with him if he thinks I'm so awesome.

I am going on a 'day date' with him tomorrow... he's been texting me tons all week and I'm not sure if I prefer it when guys are utterly indifferent and could take me or leave me. So now that I finally have the chance to go on a date, with a guy that is my type and whom I am pretty sure I fancy, I'm not sure I am up for it....

In typical me style, I have now over-thought it all to death and as a Cancerian I do not cope well with change in any form.. so I'm scared half to death and its only a second date. Its just so weird for me to meet someone I actually want to see more than once. Sober. Following the sage advice of Jables and Red I am breathing deep and am gonna calm myself, take it slow and see how it goes.

In other wonderful news, I've now completed my allergy tests and am allergic to permanent hair dye and cheap metals. Two of my favourite things. At least its not strongbow and boys though - praise the lord!

Have a fabulous weekend!
Love ya tons like currant buns,
Axx