Well hello,

Hope you're all gearing up nicely for the festive season. I'm pretty much in denial about the whole thing, but thats how I like it.

Dear god, a wonderful wonderful thing happened today. Got in to work only to find that Bossman had eaten the banana I'd been keeping for my breakfast and SOMEONE had opened day 8 on my slightly shite free advent calendar (thank you Recruitment Agencies). Harumphed for most of the morning, accused various Warehouse Monkeys of having robbed me of my one iota of Monday morning joy.. and then about mid-morning it occurred to me that there was a vague possibility of my having got my days mixed up last week and eating one too many..

So I duly apologised to Warehouse Monkeys, at which point Guitar Boy affixed me with his heowge puppy dog eyes and made me feel even more guilty. Pointed this out to his mate, who enquired as to whether I had asked him to roll over so I could tickle his tummy (long running joke involving Guitar Boy being cute as a puppy and just as easily entertained). I explained that no, I hadn't, would be rude to ask, and as a potential future member of the Senior Management Team in my possible capacity as Queen of HR, that would be sexual harassment and besides I was rather hoping he'd volunteer.

About half an hour later, Guitar Boy marches into my office, up to my desk, with THE ABS out. OUT! Bare! In my office! And demanded, really and truly DEMANDED that I stroke them. THE ABS! (Can't remember exact wording - all a bit of a shock). Rude not to and all that, so I did. Good GOD. These truly are THE ABS that the Lord has made, we should rejoice and be glad of them. You know like that footballer and his hand of god? These are THE ABS of God. Really. SO hot and SO firm and SO smooth, and a lovely tattoo on there that probably tastes like something yummy if you lick it. I ACTUALLY broke into a sweat. I kid you not. It was all I could do to not vault my desk and lick him.. except WomanIShareAnOfficeWith was sitting at the other end of the room BESIDE herself, jaw on the floor, jealous (true I swear) aghast at this wanton display of showing off, sexual tension, lust, leering, petting, sexual tension, craving, whimpering, and did I mention sexual tension?

Seriously - SO warm though. I swear to god he must keep a pair of shorts strapped to his ankle. (Target reference - Team Jacob, please go and read all the Twilight books immediately).

That was it, I couldn't hold a sensible thought in my head for the rest of the day. Could seriously have done with a proper lie down in a dark room and / or a cold shower. (Lie down in a dark cold shower maybe?).

I've done other stuff.... wait.. I know I have. Oh yes - Slipknot. Went to see them on Friday night, absolutely amezin. Fabulous gig, followed by super fun after party in which I snogged two gorgeous young men (not simultaneously I hasten to add), one of whom I snogged for a teenagedly long time.. you remember - just snogging and snogging and snogging and not really coming up for air at all? Fabulous!! So much fun! Both of them were MUCH younger than Drummer Boy (a little younger than myself also) and at least twice as hot (as Drummer Boy). Ding bloody dong. And I'm back on the long haired ones!!

No word from Drummer Boy, so have de-friended him on Facebook, removed him from my phone and condemned him to the place where dumpees go.. the dumpee dumpster. Good enough for him I say. The next guy I go out with (and I feel like this list of my requirements is getting out of control a smidge) will in addition to all of my previously stated necessary qualities: come and pick me up at my home occasionally, not have a dog, actually like going OUT places not just staying in and getting wrecked every time, WILL be taller than I am in heels, will have GOOD tattoo's (maximum one SMALL slightly dodgy one), great taste in music (not just ok taste in music that he thinks is amezin and amounts to 2 bands), will drink (not excessively but enough to be normal) and will NOT be in a DODGY covers band.. I KNOW playing covers is where the money is, but CHRIST have some integrity, and if you HAVE to play covers, for F**KS sake play good ones.

Think thats it for now!!
Hot boys and long hair and abs - OH MY!!!

Axxx